Perfectionism. Is it a wonderful attribute to have? Is it a defect?
There are definitely times when doing something less than perfect can be disastrous. For instance, figuring out the location of a planet two years from now so you can land a probe on that planet. This type of calculation needs to be perfect.
There are also times when being less than perfect is better than being perfect. A great example is getting a birthday greeting delivered to someone on time. It’s much more important that this person hears from you on their birthday than that you write and rewrite until you have the perfect wording – but send them the birthday card a week late.
When it comes to skills you’re mastering, information you’re learning, and optimizing your performance, being a perfectionist can stop you from making the forward progress you want (and need) to make. You can waste valuable time trying to make everything perfect instead of moving forward and taking action.
If you suffer from perfectionist tendencies, here are some useful strategies for addressing perfectionism:
8 Ways to Overcome Perfectionism
1. Change Your All-or-Nothing Thinking
Optimizing your performance means that your performance is as good as it can be given your circumstances. Optimal performance is much more than “Success vs. Failure” or “Winning vs. Losing.” It’s about improving, having personal bests, and continually working toward your goals.
2. Recognize that No Human Being is Perfect
The concept of performing perfectly is a dream or a myth. The reality is that even those people who have achieved the highest level of mastery in their field perform at a less-than-perfect level every time they perform. Hall of Fame level baseball players fail 7 out of 10 at bats. World-class salespeople fail to close deals. Virtuoso musicians miss notes. This is part of the human condition.
3. Your Ideals are Yours Alone
It’s important to recognize that each of us has ideals about the effectiveness of our performance. Our ideals are based on our own standards and expectations. There is not a Universal Truth that gets applied to every single person on earth regarding what everyone’s standards and ideals should be.
4. Apply Your Standards to Other People
It could be that your Standards are higher than those of other people. If that’s the case, your Standards may not be the best and most healthy Standards for you to carry through life. Can other people meet your standards? If the answer to this is “No,” then try to apply Standards to yourself that you would feel good applying to a friend or loved one.
5. Compare Yourself to Yourself
If you’d like to have a really bad day, compare yourself to the person who is the absolute best in human history in your field. Rather than going through this exercise, which will for sure make you feel inferior and dissatisfied, compare yourself today to where you’ve been in the past. Recognize your accomplishments. Notice how far you’ve come. List past challenges that you’ve overcome. Know that you’ll have challenges in the future, and you’ll be able to overcome those as well.
6. Use Perfectionism Selectively
When learning a new skill or absorbing new information, that can be a time when being a perfectionist is useful and beneficial. You want to be as close to perfect as possible when things are new so you get off to a good start. Later, when you are engaging in the skill or using the information you’ve learned, you’ve got to be more flexible and in the moment. Of course you won’t be perfect every time you execute the skill. That’s to be expected. Let go of the process you used to master a skill and switch your thinking to accepting what happens during the execution of that skill in the real world.
7. Ask if Your Expectations are Realistic or Not
You may have created your own set of Expectations based on what you think about yourself and the world. Have you revealed these Expectations to an expert in your field? Do they agree with you, or do they suggest that you’re being too hard on yourself?
8. Know Your Definition of Success
It’s important to know how you define success. You can define what success looks like for you. And, you can also say why that’s your definition of success. Thinking about why you’ve defined success in a specific way will sometimes lead to the realization that you’ve been unfair to yourself.
Every list I put together to help you be your best has one important thing in common: You don’t have to use the whole list. Finding even one strategy to help you overcome your perfectionism will be useful. Disagree with one of these strategies? Fine. Don’t use it! Found the perfect combination of two of the strategies? Congratulations. That’s fantastic.
Let me know what strategies are working for you.
